Monday, September 26, 2011

Stubborn Heart

Although I may love him with all my heart, care for him a lot and need him every minute, there is still a small part of me that is still stubborn.

Why stubborn?
Maybe that tiny part of me is not ready to open myself up completely to anyone because of the fear of being too vulnerable.
I mean, I'm just being a bit protective of my heart.
I don't think it's wrong to do so.
I don't wanna be hurt and feel the pain all over again.
I guess over some time, a thick wall is built every time I get hurt.
However, when a sincere person comes along, it may be unfair for him to break through all those walls to get in.
But just so you know, I'm a very fragile person with a very fragile heart.
So going through all those obstacles will promise something worth all your effort.

I know he will love me forever and always. I believe I will do the same too as long as we both hold on to our promises that we will love each other unconditionally forever.

But you will never know what might happen in the future right?
Who knows when people might suddenly change?
And what happens if the person holding on to your promise is no longer that person you fell in love with?

I do trust and love him.
I believe he can make me totally vulnerable.
But you will never know what might happen next especially during this time since we're apart now.
It's either uphill or downhill from here.

But as far as I'm concerned for now, I believe we can pull this through but I'm still afraid sometimes.

Thursday, September 22, 2011


What I have to say, I will tell you.
But whether you want to listen to me, it's up to you.


Tomorrow is the day.
Approximately 36hours left.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Future?

Exactly one week from now and off you go into a whole new world for 9 months. I'm really gonna miss you like crazy. 
So happen mom asked me whether is it worth waiting for him? Whether I'm wasting both my time? Whether I'm prepared to live with him for the rest of my life?
Well, I told her that he is someone who I can live with for the rest of my life. He may have some flaws but they aren't that bad at all that it makes me wanna leave. We've been together for more than 2 years and we're happy. Who knows what might happen in the next 5 years? The future is unknown. But all I know whatever happens, life still goes on. And whatever time we have spent together will never be wasted, they will be good memories for me.

Before I realized it, I actually opened up to my dad, mom and second sis.
Felt a bit weird but it was something that my heart will say.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Women - The New Men

It'll be nice to see the guy be the sensitive ones for a change.
Even in movies, you often see the girl being the vulnerable one who's asking the guy to stay a little longer and ask him questions like "Why do you love me?".
This is when role-switching would really do some good here.
Because in life, it is in the books that girls are always the soft, vulnerable, sensitive ones.
Therefore, defying the stereotype, making a change and toughening yourself up would be a better option.
Quit asking such sappy questions and live the freedom that men love so much.
There is absolutely no point living a life that revolves around people who regard you as equal as their peers.
There is also absolutely no point if you expect someone else to understand you and your needs.
In the end, there is no point building castles in the sky.
Thus, it would be better to use your time to fulfill your own needs and wants instead of someone else's.


So many questions unanswered

Guess after a while people will get lazy and stop doing certain things that they used to do just because it seems unnecessary.
That is when you look back and wonder where those days have gone.
Maybe those days have been long gone without realizing it.
Maybe we choose to live in the past because it was happier that way.

But then again, just because things aren't going well in the present, we cannot just rely on our past for happiness.
We need to move on and find happiness again in the present and future.

Sometimes nothing seems to change despite what has been said.
And there comes a day when the saying stops.
Does it mean that someone is not listening?
Or does it mean that someone has already given up?

Why wait until you're miles away to make someone happy?
Why not now?

People are complicated.
People make life complicated.
Life can be go smoothly if you play it well.


Friday, September 02, 2011

Home sweet home

Just came back from Ipoh today..
What is normally a 2 hour drive home became 4 hours instead due to everyone coming back from their kampungs..
Besides that, September is here and thus, new semester will be starting next week..
Not liking the new timetable but there really isn't any choice =/
My health is being an ass..been having flu for past few days and now I can feel a cough coming along as well..Oh yeah, not forgetting the stomachache..sigh :(
Not really the best way to spend my last week of holidays..argh...

BTW, the new Blogger interface looks pretty cool :p

And since it's already 4am, I shall sleep NOW.