Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.  

Beautifully broken

Have you ever felt that sometimes in the midst of your self-reflection, you find the answers to the questions that you keep asking yourself?

Well that just happened to me a moment ago.

I was asking why am I so full of mistakes, flaws and everything bad in general.
But maybe that's what makes me, me.
I make mistakes, many.
I am flawed, in my own ways.
I have my bad qualities.
I am not perfect.

But I figured that maybe I have to embrace my mistakes because they are what that makes me who I am.
It seems like the harder I try, the harder I fall.
I'm not trying to be perfect, I just want to be better.

I know I have to keep telling myself to not to be so tough on myself.
But sometimes I can't help it.
Its empowering and to a point it just goes out of control.
It gets most intense when I'm alone with my thoughts.
I wish I knew how.

I wish I could see myself the way you do.
But sometimes it just makes me question how much do people actually care.
I guess the people who stuck with me all this while are the people who really care.
But I just find it hard to believe that they do.

Agree to disagree

This year has probably been one of the toughest years of my life.
Things have happened which has left me pretty much more hurt and damaged than before.
We pretty much agree to disagree that some things are just not meant for us.
Maybe not now, maybe never.
Who knows?
Guess we will only know when we have to cross that bridge.

I have friends who are concerned enough to approach me and ask me how am I based on my twitter feeds.
I apologize for saddening your timeline.
But its my place of escape, my place where I can let my opinions roam free.
And this blog is probably a longer version of my sad tweets.
I did mention that one thing about me is that I may seem chirpy and happy in person but my social media is just a whirlpool of sadness. 

The true feelings we hide just to be selfless.
Well, that's life I guess.